July 20, 2025

Are You Part Of The 45% Or The 23%?

Show Notes
Transcript

How often do you think about death? Disclaimer: The discussion is not that serious.

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Jo & Morgan

WEBVTT

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Good afternoon, good evening, good three twenty six am, and

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you have woken up suddenly because you had a dream

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about peeing the bed, even though you're almost forty two,

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and it takes you a good ten minutes or some

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kind of hazy variation thereof, to decipher whether or not

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you did, in fact pee the bed.

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You didn't pee the bed.

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In this scenario, we are anxiety attics bedtime Stories.

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I'm Joe and I'm Morgan, and welcome to our.

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Welcome to our weekly BS where Joe can't talk, where

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we Morgan and I discuss about let's discuss about I'm

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losing my mind today more I can't talk.

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I think you're perfect. I can take over.

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What do we do?

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Joe and I discuss the deepest, most intimate parts of

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our brains and we're just joking. We just bs and

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we just really love having this community to talk to. Wait,

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Joe's looking at me like you did not do it

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better job than I could.

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No, I'm sorry, I am read.

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I'm rereading my jumping off point for today's BS, and

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I didn't mean to not look interested working on No,

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but I don't have resting bitch face. I have resting.

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I'd rather be someplace else and I'm paying attention to

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something else.

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Face.

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Well, that's the shittiest thing you could say to your

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friend that you're staring at right now.

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No, I think that's just what my face says. That's

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not necessarily what I'm doing.

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Oh, that's fair. I would like to say. We were

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just discussing the anxiety of dreams the other day, because

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I had a funny dream about you, Joe, that I

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told you about, and you kicked me out of your

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house because it was actually a spa. But anyways, the

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dream of having a paper do and you're back in school,

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and I've had this recently where I have like a

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fifty page paper and I just remember my dream that

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it's due the next day. I'm still a forty three

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year old woman with kids, you know, in the dream,

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and I'm so stressed, Like how did I not think

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about this? And that same anxiety of when I was

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back in high school or college where i'm you know,

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working on the homework assignment or whatever it is, it

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comes back to me and it takes a good thirty

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seconds when you wake up to be like, oh my god,

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thank god, because I didn't even know anything about I

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don't know. I can't remember what it was in my dream,

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but let's just say it was like the medical implications

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of having a toe amputated.

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Yes, but you need you need to actually come down

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because the adrenaline even though this, even though the situation

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is fake because you're dreaming, the adrenaline's real.

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Yeah, I'm not the situation is not fake because when

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you're in a dream, the situation is real. But yeah,

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it takes you a minute.

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But when you wake up, but when you wake up,

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you realize it was fake. But the adrenaline is real,

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like you're really still responding to.

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It, totally, totally so anxiety inducing it And I can

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only imagine that if you dread that you wet the bed,

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that would also bring me back to when I used

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to win the bed.

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I mean, oh margs. For me, it was mostly this

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like irritation of am I gonna have to change the sheets?

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Like it went. It went from.

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It went from a bad dream to like irritation of

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reality real quick. But my I would say though for

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I don't have the I don't have high school anxiety dreams.

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I think because they've been I think because I'm so good.

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At getting so worked up and anxious. And I had

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a career for a long time that like induced a

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shitload of anxiety. I think I just got to replace

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it with like things later in life.

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With something else. Yeah. No, I still get the whether

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it's a work assignment or study assignment. And I wake

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up and I go, oh my god, thank god, that

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was a dream. But Joe, I know you were looking

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at your kicking off point. You found this because it

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was on your alerts, right, was a Joe Newman?

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Yes, so I got an alert which I do often,

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and it's kind of sad because it is from the

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Pittsburgh Creation and Funeral Care. And this was Joe Newman,

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who was born in nineteen twenty three jo or jo

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no woman Josephine. I like Josephine, Josephine Catherine Cryanne Newman.

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But she died at and you know what's funny is

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she was born in Springfield, mass which is pretty close

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to over Morgan and I grew up. But what's interesting

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is she died at one hundred and two. And I

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look at that and I go, like, first of all,

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good on anybody who wants to stick around on this

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planet for that long and I don't, so I googled

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how often average Americans think about death?

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And my AI overview.

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Says that a study by Insurance News Net. Because that

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sounds so reliable. Doesn't that sound like such a deeply

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factual toturse.

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Yeah, yeah, you can put it in your notes after

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you study for your thesis. It sounds like that's like

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a Wikipedia.

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Yeah, totally.

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It found that forty five percent of Americans think about

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death at least monthly, and twenty three percent think about

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it daily. I think there's a big jump from daily

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to monthly, but you know, Insurance News Net, you get

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after it.

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Yeah, what about like five days a week?

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I mean week daily? Is that a thing?

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Yeah? Or bi weekly instead? Yeah, anyways, this is stupid.

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They jumped on one day to once a month is

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a big jump totally.

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And I was like, Okay, how often am I thinking

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about death? And I would say that it changes, like

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there's definitely times if something bad happens where I'm thinking

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about it a lot more. You know, as we have

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aging parents and you know, I have a you know,

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I live with a lot of animals and we just

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had to go through this with one of our horses.

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So I'm like, oh no, I'm I'm part of the

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twenty three percent to think about it daily and thinking

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about Miss Josephine Catherine Newman, I was like, one oh two, Nope, no,

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thank you. That being said, I mean, you could ask

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me at one oh one, but like, I don't think so.

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I even tell my girls, like, do not make life

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commitments before the age of thirty, because you're.

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Gonna live till one hundred.

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You really want to be with your significant other for

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seventy years.

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Now that I think about it, I my husband was

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smart because he didn't get married until he was well

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into his thirties. I didn't wait until I was thirty,

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and I might regret it a bit.

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Well, there you go.

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And then and then if you're coming of age, when

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our children are coming of age, you're gonna have to

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regret it for a really long time. At least now

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you're maybe in that millennial gray zone where you're not

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necessarily going to have what do they call them, like

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ultra longevity, ultra lifirst what do you call people who

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live a really long time?

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I have no idea, but what, Joe, this is the

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question I wanted to ask you what's your ideal age

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that you'll kick the bucket.

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Okay, So mine is not an age. Mine is a

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physical and mental state. I want to go, go, go, go,

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and then I just.

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Want to drop dead. I don't want a slow burn.

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I don't want I mean, look, it's not like I'm

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like checking off the ingredients I want on my subway sandwich, heir.

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But if I could wave a magic wand and have

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it be however I want it. I want to be

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able to go hiking. I want to be able to

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ride horses.

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I want to be.

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Able to be outside, be active, be engaged with people.

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And then one day just have it. I'll be over

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like I don't want.

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I don't want a life where I'm physically or mentally

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incapacitated in any way. That's my ideal, that being that

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I have, I have, you know, zero control over where

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my life is going to go or where the world's

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going to go. And I guess I'll just have to

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cross that bridge when I come to it. I that

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would be That's how I think I want it. At

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forty at almost forty two, that's how I think I

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want it.

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So this is gonna shock you because I don't think

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that I'm the one who would have this fear. I

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feel like maybe you would have more of this fear.

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But the fact that I will die one day and

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in two generations. I'm gonna say two generations because obviously

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hopefully my kids and my grandkids one day, if there

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are grandkids, let's pretend there are, will remember me. But

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after that I'll just be like, oh, great grandma, who

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maybe they'll never meet me, so they won't remember me.

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In two generations, my name won't be uttered anymore, right, Like,

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nobody think.

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Of unless we unless we kill it with these books

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and a TV show on this podcast, and then maybe they.

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Will so so yes, I'm saying, this is why it's funny.

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Let's pretend we don't have a podcast, because I've been

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thinking about this since like high school, and I go,

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nobody will utter my name again, Like all the stresses,

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all the anxieties, all the happiness, all everything I've done

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in less than probably seventy years will not even there

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won't even be a trickle of remembrance or a thought. Right,

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This is why I think we've talked about this before.

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This is why the movie Coco so resonated with me

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because in the I don't know if it's just Mexican

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culture or South American culture. You your body totally drifts

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away from heaven once the last person gets rid of

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your photo. Do you know when we talked about this,

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we talked to about this with Granny's picture that's in

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your house. Yeah, and I love that idea to keep them,

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frame them and have like a little corner where their

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picture is always present to, you know, keep it going

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through generations.

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Yes, and I don't mean famous, I mean leaving something behind,

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That's what I mean.

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Yeah, Yeah, but it could even be as much as

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memories that are passed down, like storytelling. You know, maybe

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they'll tell the story about when I glued my eyes shut.

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Yes, I think that the more stories you get out there,

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and the more kind of you give and create, the

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more chance of there is there's more of a chance

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of you not being utterly and totally forgotten. But yeah,

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we're all just a blip. There's billions of people on

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this world. The truth is that, I mean, none of

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us really matter that much in the long.

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Scheme of things.

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That's why sometimes I get really overwhelmed going to big

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city and just how insignificant you are, which is, to

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be fair, a very good reminder. And I feel the

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same way sometimes, like climbing a big mountain, I'm like, oh,

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I'm tiny. This mountain's going to be here for you know,

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gazillions of years compared to my blip on this radar,

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and like, this is okay, this is a good humbling

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moment totally.

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And I don't even know why I feel that way,

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because that's why I said, it's more like you, You've had

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this drive to make a name for yourself and be famous,

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and I don't have that. I just go, I wouldn't

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mind living until one hundred and twenty just for this

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fear of being underground and nobody remembering me anymore, which

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is also why I kind of want to be buried

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and not be cremated or created.

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Okay, I don't.

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I don't know this fully about me either. I'm not

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sure because my issue is like my mom and dad

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they talk about all the time they want to be cremated,

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and I go, yeah, but you want like a grave

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because if you have no grave, then you know, at

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least when I walk through graveyards, I can see people's names.

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So not to bring down the mood. But I had

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to put down a horse on Thursday, and it was really,

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really more traumatic than I gave myself credit for being

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prepared for, because it is, first of all, putting any

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animal down is just it's just terrible. It makes you

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grapple with really big questions in a really deep and

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painful way.

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And the love that we.

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Have for animals lives in its own bubble and it's

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a really challenging thing to kind of get your head

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around at them not being there anymore.

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So we had to put this horse down on Thursday.

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It was terrible, but the vet was really really good

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and he was like, you have to know that once

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he takes his last breath, that's not him anymore, you know,

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because what you have to do to bury a horse

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is can feel.

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It's hard.

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You have to move the body and you have to

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move the body with a backo like this is not

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gentle and sweet and you know, like a Laura Ashley store,

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this is hard stuff. And he was like, know that

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when he takes that breath, that last breath, what you

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see is.

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No longer him, And that was very meaningful to me.

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Yeah, yeah, I think that would be hard for me too,

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especially thinking about loved ones, because we we know their

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spirit and we know their personalities, but we always associate

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it with the external, you know, the physical, the physical.

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Yes, yeah, yeah, totally.

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And I thought that that was like, that was something

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that was a good that was a good life lesson

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that I'm like still absorbing. But it really did help

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me in the moment there. I was like, Okay, he's

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not there anymore, He's he's somewhere else. And then you know,

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I'm driving home and my brain plays all these tricks

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on me, like, oh my goodness, do I feel a spirit?

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Do I feel that you know? All these things that

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your brain just does to make you feel better about

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things and make it make sense, because obviously death doesn't

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make sense to any of us, I guess unless you're

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deeply deeply religious, but otherwise, like it's just all unknowns.

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I don't I don't think, Yeah, I don't. I don't

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think even if your religious death fully makes sense to anybody.

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But I guess, yeah, I guess.

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I met like like, if you're deeply religious, you're like, no,

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they are in heaven right now, or like no, my

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brother in law is in hell right now, Like can

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you have an assurance that I think.

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In if you don't have that belief system, you have

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less of an assurance.

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Yeah, I could go with that. Well, Joe, I'm only

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laughing because when you did the change of topic and

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you said, I don't mean to bring this conversation down,

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and then you started talking about your WRSE, I go, wait,

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the conversation was about me being forgotten in fifty years.

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It wasn't like the most it.

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Was already twenty minutes of death. And I'm like, let's

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bring it down deeper.

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Let's bring it down deeper. Joe. We are so sorry

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because I know that that was really traumatic for you,

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but I'm glad that he's not in pain anymore.

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So if you are.

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At home and enjoying your beautiful summer day, or if

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you're at home contemplating the end of your life and

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what death means to all of us. Either way, you

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can DM us or fill out the form on our

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