WEBVTT
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Good afternoon, good evening, good three am. You wake up
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with the Taylor Swift song stuck in your head, don't
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remember the lyrics, and can't go back to sleep until
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you've googled them. We are anxiety atticts Bedtime Stories. I'm
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Joe and I'm Morgan, and welcome to our weekly BS
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where we talk about all the things that are giving
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us anxiety, keeping us from sleeping, keeping our brains from
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functioning in a way that we agree that normal people's
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brain should function.
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Seriously, how much better is it when you're stressing about
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something and you find out that you're not the only
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crazy one in the world.
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Yeah, and that whatever it is that's making you feel
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awful can be trumped by somebody else's story.
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Yeah, and you go, ooh, maybe I shouldn't worry so
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much about that. Uh. You know what's funny. Joe is
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one of my children I won't say who was telling
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me like two days ago that he already has stresses.
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He's like mom, one time I said something really stupid
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he said about a teacher in front of the teacher.
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He he said it was totally innocent, but his something
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was messed up on his musical instrument or I can't
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remember if it was a computer thing in the class,
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but it wasn't working, and so it seemed as if
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he couldn't do what he was supposed to be doing.
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And he goes, oh my god, Mom, I still think
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about it. I said to her, Oh, thank god you
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give tens to every Tends are like a's. Thank god
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you give a's to everybody, because could you imagine if
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you thought I wasn't like good because this teacher is
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known to give like easy grades.
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Out any well, at least he insults of the teacher
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who gives easy grades out and not the teacher who
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gets everybody hard grades, because that would affect him.
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I go, oh my god, this is so sad because
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he's already starting to feel that like anxious regret of
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he's gonna remember it for the rest of his life,
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just like we talk about like that dinner that I
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was at fifteen years ago, and I still think, like,
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why the fuck did I say that he's only Oh no,
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I'm giving away who he is. But uh, he's so
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young and he already has the regret, and it kind
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of broke my heart a little bit.
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But I remember being in preschool over Vernon Street in
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Northampton and something similar happening, and I must have been four.
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Yeah, no, no, no, it's it's sometimes I remember things
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when I was little, but I don't. I can't tell
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you what age I was, like unless it happened in
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school with a specific teacher that I can recall what
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grade I was in, But other than that, I don't
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know if I was seven or four.
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You know, when I remember certain things, I think I
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do because of external influences, because I'm like, okay, I
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know that I was at that school from three to five.
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Yes, yes, And I think for me, I was in
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the same house, in the same school from basically kindergarten
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through sixth and yeah, yeah, in the same house. So
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for me sometimes it's a little but you're right, You're right.
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You can you can recall, you know, where you were
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or what year you did something to remember, but I'm
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really bad at that.
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I will say that I think that that is why
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when I lived in LA that my memory was so
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bad about connecting times, because I think that growing up
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in New England, I use the weather and I use
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the seasons, like, oh, this happened in the fall, this
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happened you know when there was snow on the ground.
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This happened when we were you know, faked tanning in
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the backyard. As such a connection for memory and in
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La would every day looked exactly the fucking same. I
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think I lost it. I really think I lost this
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like ability to connect time and space because it was
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all just one long summer day for eight years.
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Yeah, I feel like our parents' generation is so much
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better at that. My mom can tell you an exact year, like, oh,
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that was in like nineteen seventy eight, and I I
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can remember, like if there's like a core memory or something,
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I might be able to remember when it was. But
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if I want to look back on when I was
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in middle school, I know I graduated high school in
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two thousand and one, but and I just remember that
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because I remember our slogan was two thousand and one
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was a hell of a lot of fun.
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Yes, we should have edited that because the syllables don't work.
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That bothers me.
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Two thousand and one was a hell of a lot
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of fun. Yeah, oh it rhymes.
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Yes, it doesn't work for me. But Morgan, I'd like
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to say something else about the parents who were like
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that happened in nineteen seventy eight. Morgan, I'm what I'm
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learning about these parents, these boomer parents, is that they
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are really full of shit, and there's nobody to contradict them.
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So my mom's like, well, then this happened, and then
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there's nobody in the room who's like, no, actually that
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was nine years later with a different presidential administration. We're
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all just like, oh, okay, nineteen seventy eight, what do
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you know?
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Yeah, No, that's true. That's true. It's not like I
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check up on it.
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You don't fact check Mary Ellen.
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I don't fact check Mary Ellen. But I feel like
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she's really good at recalling recalling dates. Miss Joe. I'm
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curious because last week we didn't get to this, Morgan.
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We talked about that on Robin's po.
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Miss Morgan, Ryan Walsh, please tell me about the next segment.
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Well, last week we didn't get to hear about any
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of your doppelganger name doppelgainer's Joe Newman's or Okay, sometimes
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they're not Joe Newman's, but a lot of them are.
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And I've given up on mine. I mean, besides the CIA,
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like mind Control, Skate.
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Pard reach, did you reach out to them.
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No, Joe, they probably already know.
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They probably already know you exist.
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They probably already like patted it in my name, and
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they're like, we got to watch this one. So but
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she doesn't remember.
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But she doesn't remember anything, so we're seeing.
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At all.
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I have a cloudy memory.
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Morgan's like, your secrets are safe with me because I
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will not not because I care well, because I will
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not remember.
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So we want to know what's going on with the
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Joe Newman's of the world this week.
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So I have this Google alert on myself which used
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to be this like I don't know when I was acting.
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Excuse me, I just had my coffee. All of us
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actors and I'm sure this is true today, but we
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would do We were doing anything you could do to
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get a job and like get your name out there,
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and I mean anything. I'm talking like writing classes, improv classes,
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Plottis somehow got pushed in there, like every single day
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you just crammed as much as you could possibly do
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into becoming the next whoever it was that you idolized
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and wanted to be for whatever reason. When I was
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growing up, I was like, Oh, I'm gonna be the
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next Jewnifer Aniston, But what am I gonna do about
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my curly hair? As if having curly hair was the
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one obstacle between me and, you know, winning an Emmy.
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I was so.
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Fucking stupid, it really was. I was really stupid. But
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that's that's that's another episode of how stupid I've been. Anyway,
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I had a Google or on myself for whatever reason,
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and through the years it's gotten more and more entertaining
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because I'm not acting anymore, so my acting stuff isn't
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coming up. But this is an acting one and this
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is something I've been thinking about a lot lately, which
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is sort of like with AI, how to kind of
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like sift through bullshit.
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Sorry, I was taking a drink of water.
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It's I know, right when I found here. But do
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you know what I mean? Like we like this is
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a news, not a new skill, but this is a
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skill I think that we all need to work on
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now because of AI. Like you need you need to
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know when something's bullshit and when something's real, which is
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fucking it's also going to be impossible to be fair.
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Yeah. No, it's just starting off and sometimes I go
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look and I go wait, I don't know if this
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is it and then you have to look at it
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and say, like this was false, this was false, and
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there's actually pictures nowadays. But anyways, okay, so what happened, Well,
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there's video recordings.
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No, it's not that good, but it's it's a blurb
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about me that is clearly not about me, and I
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think it's really funny. All right, So just the record,
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you guys, I was working my ass off as like
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a very very very like not famous actress. I got
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into a couple of TV shows, a couple of movies,
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a couple of things I thought hit. They were never
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a very big deal. I would sometimes walk into a
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casting director's room and they would know who I was
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because I was in there five hundred times, not because
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they were like, oh, it's the work of Joe Newman.
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So this is an AI generated bio on a website
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called Thehandbook dot com slash Celebrity, and it's supposed to
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help you get in touch with any celebrity that you
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want to. So if it's first of all it's a
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joke that I'm on there, clearly like they used AI
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to just scour IMDb or something, and they must use
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the same AI bio for like everybody who isn't special,
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that's me. Okay ready, yes, excited?
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So this is actually about you. I mean, I understand
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it's it's AI generated and it's not true, but it's
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it's it's really Joanna Newman from Northampton, like it's meant
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to be about you.
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Okay, yeah, yeah, there's a picture of me. There's my Twitter,
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there's my Instagram. All right ready, But I bet you
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that this bio is used for like hundreds of thousands
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of people. But it could make you feel good about yourself.
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All right, here we go. So this is the handbook
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dot com about Joe Newman. Joe Newman is a prominent celebrity.
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That's true. You were my favorite celebrity.
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Thank you for her accomplishments in the entertainment industry.
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Ooh that sounds pornographic.
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I know it does. With her undeniable talent and charm,
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I think a lot of people could deny it. She
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has managed to garner a large following and become a
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household name.
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You're a name in our household, in Morgan Walsh's household.
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Her impress if career spans across various mediums, including film,
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television and music.
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That's not not true. Music, Joe, Yeah, you were in
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a music video, weren't you? Were you ever in a
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music video?
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Yeah? I think I did a few music videos. But
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that's but I didn't make music, Joe.
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It's called artistic license. License. You were part of the
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music industry.
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I was part of the music making Okay, where she
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has established herself as a versatile artist.
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That is also true.
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With her captivating performances and charismatic presence, Joe Newman continues,
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which is not true, continues to captivate audiences, audiences and
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solidify her status as a beloved celebrity.
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Okay, first of all, that is true. You've just changed
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your where your audience is from. Instead of you know,
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doing the girl and trying to be an actor slash
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music industry professional, you are now opening yourself to your
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podcast audience. So again, not true. I totally agree with
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this so far.
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You see you you totally agree with the AI handbook.
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It's just I think it's a good lesson of like
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how easy it is to manipulate the truth, because like, sure,
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a lot of those things are true to the naked eye,
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but if you're a tea I was just reading this
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article about how college professors are now grading papers because
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it's so fucked Yeah.
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Yeah, it's changed because of kids using kids using AI,
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and they really should start teaching kids young how to
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properly use it because it's kind of like one of
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those things, okay, not to say, like drugs and alcohol,
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but it's important that because it is out there, that
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they learn how to use it the proper way. For
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an example, like we use Google Translate a lot in
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my household because like I'll lose my words. It's something
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that we use when we travel. We use it all
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the time. And my kids are now learning a third language,
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like in school, they're learning Spanish, and I always tell them, like, look,
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you can use Google Translate if you're like word finding
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or if you need to know a specific word, but
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you've got to learn the word.
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You can't.