New Faces, New Friends, New Anxieties, Join Us For Our Weekly BS

0:18 Good afternoon, good evening. Good one forty seven am, and you have woken up in a cold sweat because you think you're having a heart attack, but it turns out that you laid on your left arm. Kind of funny. I'm Joe and I'm Morgan, and welcome to Anxiety Addicts Bedtime Stories. This is where two best friends since we were eleven years old collect stories from the Internet and true user submitted stories and turn them into twenty minute tales to help you take your mind off of whatever's bothering you and help you go to sleep. Let's be honest, anxiety can feel really, really lonely, and we don't want it to be. I don't know about you, Joe, but whenever I think about that thing that I said to a thirty year old old woman fifteen years ago that I can't even believe what I said, I said, you look really beautiful for your age. I was twenty.

1:09 I still stress about it, and when I hear other stories like this, it makes me feel so less lonely. Absolutely, and to put things in perspective where you said this one thing, but somebody else's burned their house down and they got over it, so you're like, oh, okay, all things being equal, I think I've got this. Oh my god, I still cringe about it. I still cringe about it. I was trying to be really nice, and I obviously was an idiot as a twenty year old. To be fair, though, twenty years ago, maybe people weren't taking that as offensively, like now everything is considered offensive, and maybe back then it. Was like she definitely took it offensively, like laughed at it, but definitely took it offensively. Wow, you know, I mean if somebody came up, could you imagine a little twenty five year old came up to you and you're like, you're really pretty for your age, I'd.

1:59 Like, yup, got that right? My god. Well, guys, we just wrapped up season two and we'll be taking some time off before we kick off season three, but we will continue to be doing our weekly BS because obviously. So our WEEKLYBS is where Morgan and I to get together. We talk about the people with our exact same names and what they're doing around the world, what we're stressed out about, and then we'll give you a little bit of our brilliant, psychologically educated insight onto some pop culture things. I'm kidding. We don't have anything interesting to say about that. Yeah, but it's kind of fun trying to find a way.

2:41 Do you know that everybody? When I used to read like gossip columns, I knew everybody. And now I have no idea who they're talking about unless they're talking about like the older generation, like like the Backstreet Boys and or Oprah Winfrey. I don't know any. Yeah, I don't know the younger people either. I don't. Also, I don't know if I should be proud of this, and I feel like the gays are going to disown me. But I've never seen an episode of any of the Real Housewives shows, and I've never seen an episode with the Kardashians. So I've definitely seen episodes of the Kardashians, but I've never seen I shouldn't say I've never seen the Housewives.

3:23 When I go home for the summer because we don't have them here, my sister in law, my brother's wife got my mom into them, and my mom and I will sit and either watch Judge, Judy or one of the Housewives. I love that. I love that. That's like it's I appreciate junk TV is a connection point, I have anxiety. Would you like to hear about how I turned Real Housewives into having my own anxiety? Because that's the definition of insane. Like that makes no sense. It doesn't even make sense when I'm saying it right now. It sounds so dumb. But this is where my brain goes as I wonder how this sort of time in pop culture is going to be remembered, and talking to my kids, It's not going to be like, oh, and this was the time of and Andy Warhol in the seventies and the protests and this artist doing this. I'm gonna be like, this is going to be a time when like plastic faced women yet got drunk and yelled at each other on TV. And my kids are going to be like, oh, that was your defining moment.

4:23 Wait a second, are you saying that because you read an article about Chris Jenner's new face? I did? That? Did pop up on my seed? I mine too? Oh my god? Do you think it's like a like do you think that she's like call like you know how they say even if it's in a paparazzi photo, they can like have it doctored. Do you think it's doctored? Because she seriously looks like she's twenty in a scary way. I mean, I think I have so many thoughts on it. My first thought, and I feel like I'm saying this because we're recording, is that, like, anybody should do what makes them happy, and I frankly don't care. I think that that family is really like I mean, there's five of them and one college degree. I look down upon that.

5:15 I think that they have so many followers and so many people look to them for beauty and advice and put them on this pedestal, and I think it's a little bit insane. But also things look different on camera, Like I was an actress for fifteen years, and the makeup that they do for the camera doesn't look great in person. Yeah, totally, So who knows what she actually. Well, she looks fucking phenomenal. And I'm going to say, I remember when I was younger, I used to always say I can't wait to age because my grandmother was so fabulous. My mother's so fabulous. I'm like, I can't wait to age. I'm gonna wear it proudly and like the first signs of wrinkles and gray hair. I'm like, went blonding up boatox. So I can't say what I'm going to feel like when I'm sixty, because I do stress about getting older now and I never thought I was going to be that way.

6:09 But I think that that's all of us. We're all like, oh, well do it. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. And then you're at that bridge and you're like, I fucking don't like this bridge. I am going to give you a pushback though. I don't think she looks phenomenal. I think it looks weird. Well, it looks weird because you know her actual age, but like, whoever did it? I'll tell you why. I think it looks phenomenal. If she was a I won't say twenty, a thirty year old like or a forty year old. Let's say forty year old that looked like that, you would say, Wow, she's such a beautiful woman. And I think I'm so used to walking around. You know, first I was in Los Angeles, now I'm in Milan, and it really looks like I don't know people from Los Angeles and in Milan all went to the same doctor and you know exactly what they got done. She doesn't have that look she doesn't.

7:00 I have like, yeah, yeah, maybe I haven't looked at enough pictures of her. I think she looks funny. I think her nose looks like she's had a bunch of nose jobs. I think that like you know how your dog looks when it puts its head out the window and the air blows at what. And their girls go back? Yeah, yeah, I think she looks like that. I think she looks like a Golden Retriever with its head out the window on a highway. Oh my god, I'm sorry. I'm gonna stick up for Chris Janner and say I think you're fucking fabulous, And I hope, I don't know. I hope one I hope I don't. I don't want to have it one day. But I can never say never. Morgan, I love you and I love that we have different opinions on this because I think she's everything that's wrong with the world in one human heartbeat.

7:45 I don't think there's anything wrong with it as long as people say, like, oh no, I didn't do anything that annoys me. I agree with that. I totally agree with that. But if somebody says, like if you're if your grandmother of my grandmother became and it was like, I just got my booms done. I just got this, and this is not what I There was something going around the internet where somebody's like, don't please, don't call me a natural beauty. Like these women who looks like real natural beauties, like surfer girls. They're like, my hair's dyed, my lips are filled, there's botox in my forehead, my eyebrowser dyed, my eyelashes are fake, and like they go, I put in a lot of work to look like a natural beauty. And I loved that because it's like everyone thinks, you know, you wake up looking like people wake up in the movies.

8:27 And I wake up and I like look in the mirror and I go, holy shit, that's security. The Internet's a lie. I feel like this is why God gave us degenerative eyesight, Like you're just supposed to as you age, you're just supposed to not be able to see yourself as well anymore. It's so true. And you know, it's funny that there's a lot of makeup today, but like when I'm on camera, you can't even like I looked pale up. But that's what I'm saying about you don't know what her face looks like in person, Like if you were sitting there next to her, you could be like, this is scary, Like it's scary to see somebody's facial features so manipulated marks. I would like to wrap this up by saying, you've never seen a dog happier than when it's sticking its face out the window of the backseat of a car on like a country highway road. So maybe this is just a way for everyone to look as happy as the Golden retriever going to the lake.

9:20 What if that's the procedure was called Golden Retriever going to lake. I'll take two, all right, all right, let's move on to Joe's favorite segment. So, for anybody who's new to listening to, our anxiety addicts a weekly BS. We love looking up and getting notifications on people all around the world that happened to share our same name, and sometimes people who don't even share our same name. But something that like I don't know the initials or something is Joe sometimes brings to the table. Now I'm just teasing, and I started mine, I don't know, like three months ago. Joe's had Herzon for years the notifications of a Joanna Newman or Joe Newman or whatever you have in I started mine three months ago and Joe gets like daily or weekly updates on different Joe Newman's or Joe Diana Newman's around the world, and I in three months got one until this week.

10:18 Du du dum. Now, unfortunately Jo's are way better because they're usually obituaries of older women whose time has passed, and you know, we like to celebrate them here on anxiety attics, but mine are always very strange, and about one hundred percent of the time they're in Ireland. So my one this week and I had to look up the name of this town. It's called Nina, and it looks like it's like a little south east of Gatwick. Is it Gatwick? No, not Gatwick, Oh my god, No, Galloway. Galloway. Oh I'm gonna get in trouble for that. That's the airport in London of Galloway. And came up in my fee that there was an article written because in Nina they are at the counselors, which are you know, the lawyers, I guess you could say of this small town who make sure life goes on as it should. Are quite upset this week because and I quote, Nina is just one of the many towns in the Midlands which has an excessive dog fouling problem, And I.

11:29 Just does that mean shitting? Yeah, and people aren't picking it up? And I thought, well, I want to move to a place like Nina where the front page news of their local regional newspaper like that's it. Could you imagine, Well, you kind of live in like the middle of nowhere, but could you imagine being so in Like the worst thing that you can come up with to put on the front page of a newspaper is people aren't picking up their dog shit? Why am awesome? That's awesome. It means that the rest of your life is so well put together. Seriously, Like that's a good community. But I have to say, guys in Nina, like pick up after your dogs. Not only is it annoying for people, but I get really pissed.

12:14 I live in a city people don't pick up their dog shit. But it's really annoying for my dog too, because like they like to smell the stinkiest, shittiest thing, and then I have to constantly pull them away, like pick up your dog shit. I like that one. I like that one thinks. Oh, by the way, just to say, the head counselor is Louise Morgan. Walsh and she's the one who was important enough to be quoted in the front page of the newspaper. So good job, Louise. Yes or Louis Morgan Walsh. I don't know if it's a boy or girl, and I don't know how like is that how you spell Louis too? You don't have an E at the end?

12:54 Oh okay, so I guess it's Louise. Let's assume she's a girl. And because she's, you know, the head of a town of twenty five people. So yeah, that was my Morgan Walsh I would like to bring up for the week. I know that it's not a lot about her or him, but yeah, it was my first notification that came in besides the graveyard the cleaning up the graveyard in another spot in Ireland. So yeah, what do you got for us, Joe? Hopefully something more interested? Okay, So this she's interesting because she's super creative and is somebody who I think you'd see on HGTV making stuff. Her name is Joe Newman. She had a career setback during COVID and opened up a new refurbished and reworked.

13:42 It says door, but it says Joe and Brian Newman are the kind of people that see something in the store and think, yeah, we could probably make that. And they opened up Newman Creations in the Haymarket Creamery building, and she makes all kinds of like really cool woodworking stuff. I was looking out downtown Lincoln, Nebraska. But I'll tell you why I thought that this was so interesting, and it actually doesn't have anything to do with her specifically, but I was like, oh, I woodworking is something I know absolutely nothing about. But I was remembering the woodworking class in high school. And if you're new to us, Morgan and I have known each other since middle school and mister Zebrawski was the technical drawing teacher, but I think he also did woodworking. And I have this memory, and this is an anxiety, deep deep within my soul of a good friend saying I kind of wish a teacher would die so we didn't have school tomorrow, and many died, and she felt guilty. She might still feel guilty about it to this day. This was twenty five years ago, and not only did he die, but we still had school.

14:52 Oh my god, I remember when he died. That was really sad. He was a great teacher. Yeah he was fun, like going to his class shot class was fun. Yeah, he was hurt and he was cursed by a student who just wanted to sleep in. Oh my god, don't say their name, because that would be if it is an anxiety, then she would or he, she or he or anybody not that they'd feel to figure it out, would feel shamed. Do you know your person? Do you know what brings me the most anxiety about this is? This is all I want to do in life. I want to learn. I actually looked up would shop classes in Milan. I would love to learn how to repurpose things or when something breaks, be able to fix it, which I know sounds really stupid, but it's like, I'm going to take a class in case you were wondering.

15:41 But Morgan, that's why I think that what we're doing is so cool, Because you're really worried about insulting somebody twenty years ago whose name you can't remember, and this chick killed somebody. She did not I'm just saying like what you're anxious about about saying one thing? And she said one thing and then somebody died. You offended a thirty year old. Maybe could you imagine like if you said, you know, like I oh I hate her, I wish she died or something, and the next day they died. I would yeah, yeah, I would. Also. I would also be like, everybody should be really fucking scared of me and be really nice to me, because I obviously am a magical power.

16:24 I know there's a lot going on there to unpack. Anyway, we are going to be re releasing some of our favorite episodes throughout the summer. Wednesdays, you get Anxiety Attics BS, which is this brilliant conversation between these two amazing women. I'm sure you cannot live without because nobody else wants to hear us, and that's why we have to record ourselves and put it up on the internet so our reach is a little bit bigger. And then on Fridays we are re releasing I think some of our funniest episodes more it's the first. One opposite opposite. Wednesday will be the re release and Fridays will be the Okay, just in case, somebody's writing this down so they can.

17:04 Maybe sometimes we'll get drunk and switch it and not be attentional. Bit Oh my god, is that what happened. But next week or this week, we're going to release The Invisible Man, which Morgan knows is one of my absolute favorite stories ever, and it's a story about kids being assholes and then not being assholes. It's a really really middle school I really love this one. I know, and it's going to be for the first time up on our YouTube channel so you can actually see our very own, lovely, fabulous, gorgeous Joe Newman reading it to you. It's a good thing to turn on when you're doing something else, Like you turn me on in the corner and scroll Instagram on your others. It's a it's a second screen. It's a second screen type of entertainment.

17:49 Guys, don't forget to follow us on Instagram at anxiety at exped Time Stories, also Facebook at anxiety Atic, sped Time Stories. Also on TikTok anxiety Attics. There is also ww dot Anxietyatics, bedtime stories dot com where you can get the latest news and submit your stories. Just click on stories. You can also listen to the podcast from there. Write to us dm US tell us anything. We really, really really love to hear from you guys, more than anything. Your stories please go to ww dot anxiety x, bedtime stories dot com slash stories. It's super easy. It's a contact form, first, middle, and three sentences. Send them in.

18:33 We love, love, love to. Read them, and if nobody's told you today, we love you, and sweet dreams. Sweet Dreams,