June 14, 2025
Nostril Insecurity, Spys And Golden Retrievers...Need We Say More?
Morgan's nostril insecurities, Jo's paranoia of mind control in the skate park. I mean, is there anything more entertaining? Join us for this week's BS!
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Jo & Morgan
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To the restless, the insomniacs, the stressed out, the overwork
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the doom scrollers, the worried, and the board. This is
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for you. Good writing is meant to make you think.
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This is the opposite. Short, funny, and unfortunately true stories
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that have mostly to do with nothing to help you
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turn off your brain and turn on your ram. All
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names have been changed to protect the guilty. These are
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anxiety addicts bedtime stories.
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Good afternoon, good evening, good whenever you listen to us.
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Maybe it's three o'clock in the morning and you just
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got up to pee, but then you remembered an appointment
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that you made like seven months ago, completely forgot about,
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and now it's going to screw up your entire day.
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But you can't do anything about it because it's three
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o'clock in the morning, and now good luck getting back
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to sleep. We are anxiety addicts bedtime stories.
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I'm Just and I'm Morgan, and this is where we
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take stories.
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From all over the Internet, all over our followers, all
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over our dms, and all over our personal memory hell
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and turn them into twenty minute bedtime tales to help
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you take your mind off of whatever's bothering you and
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let you focus on somebody else's insane, embarrassing, ridiculous mishaps,
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and then we can all laugh about it together.
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You know, Joe, I always laugh when you and I
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you were first talking about anxiety addicts and me coming on,
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and we both agreed. We always felt so much relief
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when we would both talk about our anxieties together, like,
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oh no, I felt that way before. And I really
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think that our community and anxiety addicts just as that
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we take really shitty situations and say, we've all fucking
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been there.
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We're all stressing.
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Let's laugh at each other because you know, I'm sitting
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here now in front of a frickin' camera like stressing
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a well, my nostril size, because now this is what
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I do, is I stare in the.
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Mirror, Morgan not.
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I know this is gonna come to a shock as
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a shock to you, but not everybody knows about your
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nostril size. Would you like to tell them what's going
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on here in at dark corners of Morgan Ryan Walsh's mind.
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So every week Joe makes me record myself.
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I'm just joking. I'm here voluntarily, that's part of the contract.
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I link blink twice if you need.
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To be read, and I always would have my computer
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as of last week, you guys can go look and
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you could like, you know, my face was more of
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like at an angle, And every time I would go
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edit these things, I'm like, what the fuck is wrong
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with my nose? Like I have two different sized nostrils.
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I'm forty two years old, and I've never seen this
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flaw in myself before. I've seen all the other ones,
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but this is a new one. And now I find
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myself falling asleep to thinking if there's like a plast
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surgery where you can have your nostrils match. Like even
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when I go like this, this one looks smaller than
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this one.
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Do you see?
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Yeah, and Morgan, I spend a lot of time staring
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at your face, and yes, this is definitely something I
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have never noticed.
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But now it's the only thing I can see when I'm.
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Now I also find myself looking at other people's nostrils
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during the day or when I'm watching other podcasts.
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I'm like, now astrals.
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Look right now. It's a fixation.
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So now that you're fixated on this, the question is
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what percentage of the population do you think has asymmetrical nostrils.
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You know what, guys, just let's join the club together
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and let me know how successful and how wonderful your
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life is thinking that somebody, as myself I suffer from this.
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I don't know what the exact ailment is, but let's
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call it asymmetrical nostrilitis, folks.
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Asymmetrical nostril itis a session Latin word. No, no, no obsessionaty.
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And now I have a really hard time doing this.
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I almost rather turn the camera off and talk because
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I I I the hot today.
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We live in a world where you have to share
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your face if you want anybody to listen to your
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words more. When you have a cold, are you better
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off if the bigger nostril is not clogged?
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Like?
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Is this effect? Does this affect your existence?
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Guys?
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This is a new anxiety. This was just discovered, like
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I don't know, three weeks ago.
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Can you breathe the same out of both of them?
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Yes?
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And I suffer from the allergies too, And this is
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never something that I've noticed before, but test it.
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Close one off, take a breath, and then close the
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other one off. Although actually I don't have.
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A deva and in septum I did go to a
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nose doctor. I do not have a deviated septum. I
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know this because my husband does. They can't even like
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see up one of his nostrils. But yeah, you know what,
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this people's show is giving me new anxieties and to
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get back to the boy.
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It always makes me feel better.
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All of you guys dming and writing to us and
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talking about what you guys suffer from, what you guys
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have anxieties about. I mean, maybe it's aliens in the
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in the ocean, maybe it's getting on an elevator.
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Whatever it is.
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It makes me feel less lonely. And I realized that God,
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if I just talk about it, I don't need to
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feel as lonely about my nostrils.
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And since we have no medical, psychological, sociological, or any
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other ogical training, we are not here to fix your anxiety.
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We're just here to share stories about it. I think
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that that disclaimer is really fucking important. Since Morgan majored
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in political science and I went to acting school, I
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think it.
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Is really really important because we don't want to fix
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even our own problems.
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We kind of like riding the wave of whatever we're doing.
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I mean, we've made it kind of like we're doing
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okay life, Like I found someone to marry me, I
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have kids.
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Joe found somebody to marry her. She has kids. Because
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that's the level of success, right Joe.
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Yes, I think that that's how we should all measure our.
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Worth on this planet.
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I'm in therapy twice a week, so I don't know
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if you should throw me on the top of the
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success food chain here, but here we are.
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But anyways, we are thriving. I think thriving is the
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correct word.
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And yeah, it's nice to form a little community and
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have us find some humor in the stresses and the
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anxieties of life. So Joe and I every week love
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to go on the internet and find our name dopplgators.
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I don't know if.
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That's like the correct term for it, but we'd love
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to see what the other Joe's and Morgan's or Ryan's
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and I can't remember your middle name and Newman's and
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Walsh's are doing around the world. Unfortunately, this week I
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don't have one because got where are you? Okay, I
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know there's a lot of Morgans, but Morgan, Ryan's or
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Morgan Walsh's there. I get no notifications and so if
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you are somebody with that shares Ryan Walsh even I'll
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even have you on it as a guest. I would
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love to know what you're doing.
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But I'm kind of surprised by that Morgan's because it's
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not like your name is Christina Aguilera, where that's like, okay,
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maybe there's not a lot of those like that seems
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I feel.
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Like Christina is more of a common name though.
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Aguilera, well, she's from the nineties.
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We couldn't even say it.
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But Aguilera, what is She's from South America? I don't.
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I think she's Argentinian. So I think in Argentina or
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wherever she's from, I could be super common name.
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That's a super common name. Like here, like Baldi, my
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husband's last name. You would be like, well, who's Baldi.
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Well it's a very common Italian last name, or you
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know Mastra Angelo.
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Right, I guess I just I think so.
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When Morgan was born all those years ago, Morgan was
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not a popular name all and now maybe it's because
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I live out in the West, but I feel like
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I know so many twenty five year olds with the
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name Morgan, so it had a resurgence twenty years after
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you were born.
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But there's no news because our alerts go into newsworthy
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content and there's no which I'm sorry Morgan's That doesn't
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mean that you're not doing anything important. But if you
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go on Instagram or TikTok and you type in Morgan,
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there's a ton But I don't know how to stalk
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them and figure out exactly.
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What they're doing. We did want because they, you know.
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Were public figures roller skating around a hot dog stand,
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which is fabulous.
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But anyways, guys hit me up.
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So okay, So there is actually a company called Morgan
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Walsh Money Saving It Solutions.
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Have you found Morganwalsh dot co slash uk.
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They solve problems with technology, which is I think hilarious
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because not anything you would probably say about yourself. Yeah,
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they have life save drones, they have consultancy, research, prototyping,
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technical services, electrical design, and there's case studies where they
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capture crime.
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Oh marks, we might have to dive into this.
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This is pretty this is pretty cool, so cool.
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It's pretty funny. You should see these guys.
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They do not look like they are capturing crime, but
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you know, it's always it's always behind the scenes. People
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but listen to this quote. This is about Gary. Okay,
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I bet you there's a lot of Gary's. Gary at
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Mark and Walsh was instrumental in developing an innovative prototype
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solution using low raw wand technology to help deter antisocial
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behavior at our newly refurbished skate park. So these are
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the people who are like the psychological masters.
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How are they?
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How are they.
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Deterring anti social behavior at a newly referm bish skate park?
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Like this is some alien futuristic mind control shit. This
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is this is what the Morgan Walshs are up to.
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They don't want you to know. I think it's crazy. Like, okay,
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so my dad does not listen to this podcast because
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first he told me he didn't get podcasts.
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On his phone.
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It's a great excuse. Then he told me he.
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Doesn't have the app, and then he told me that
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he just doesn't have mine ours downloaded.
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So he doesn't listen to this. So this is fine
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for me to say. My dad is paranoid.
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My dad is absolutely convinced that like the government is
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tracking every single I know.
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But like this is so I think I think that
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I ran out of shampoo and I log onto like
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my my Amazon to get something, and I swear to God,
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like a shampoo thing comes up, like they are tracking us.
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That's just the truth.
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If I look up something in my computer and then
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I go on to my phone later ads for the
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thing that I looked up on my computers. There now
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I know because we have the same It's more like
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my computer and my phone are both connected or whatever.
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But it's so messed up.
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But this has been so messed up.
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But I'm always like I always say to my dad,
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I go just because your paranoid doesn't mean they're not
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watching you.
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But this is this kind of shit is crazy.
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I think you should send them a season to sists
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and say you don't agree with what they're doing.
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And you don't, they can't use your name.
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Yeah, as you're hit a patent because you're a.
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Public you're a public figure. Now you have a hat.
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It doesn't say, all right, well this was so good.
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We don't even need to talk about the Joe Newman's
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this week. We will save all of those fabulous people
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for next week.
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Oh my god.
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So Morgan has been super organized lately, which is something
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that really impresses me, because organization is something that I've
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completely given up on. Like I'm not fucking organized. I'm
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pissed off about organization because if you do it once,
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it's not done, Like you have to just keep on
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doing it. It's like going grocery shopping and vacuuming and
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