WEBVTT
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To the restless, the insomniacs, the stressed out, the overwork
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the doom scrollers, the worried, and the board. This is
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for you. Good writing is meant to make you think.
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This is the opposite. Short, funny, and unfortunately true stories
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that have mostly to do with nothing to help you
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turn off your brain and turn on your ram. All
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names have been changed to protect the guilty. These are
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Anxiety Addicts bedtime stories.
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Here at Anxiety Addicts, it's hard to pick our favorite
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genre of BS.
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The first day of school stories, the meat.
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Cutes, the mishaps, the er visits not to mention, the
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first dats, and the links people will go to for friendship.
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They're all entertaining, heartwarming, hilarious, and painfully relied, but one
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that never ceases to entertain us time and time again.
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Our service industry stories. Maybe it's because Morgan and I
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were waitresses and bartenders for decades. We paid our rents,
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working long hours at nice restaurants and not so nice
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restaurants and.
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Very very shitty bars.
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We memorized hundreds of drinks and dozens of regulars, and
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we went to weird lengths to make people happy. That's
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what you do when you work in this world, it's
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not that the customer is always right, it's something else.
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In some places, yeah, usually the more upscale bars, and
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always Italian restaurants.
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There is this unspoken.
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Rule that you don't say no unless absolutely necessary. It
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doesn't matter where you worked in this country or when.
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There is always this connective tissue linking the experiences of
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those slogging it out in the service industry. These stories
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a special place in our hearts, and this one is
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no exception. This one is about Gregory. Gregory had a
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plan and it started young. Every night, for at least
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three years, he insisted that his mother read him the
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book Eloise, about a six year old girl who lived
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at the Plaza Hotel in New York. He'd prop himself
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up in bed, his eyes dissecting every illustration of Eloise
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terrorizing the most storied hotel in Manhattan. He leaned into
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every detail. When his mother finished the story, she'd turn
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off the light, close the door, and leave Gregory to
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the whims of his imagination. The dreams that followed weren't
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about him playing the part of Eloise.
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No.
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In his dreams, he was always mister Salomony, the manager
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that was his castle in the air. As Gregory matured,
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so did his dreams. It wasn't a wes Anderson obsession
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that led him to see the Grand Budapest Hotel no
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less than six times in the theaters. It was firstly
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the hotel itself, and a close second was Monsieur gustave H,
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the famed concierge, played by an inimitable Ralph Fines. He
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dragged along his best friend Chloe twice in one day,
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first for the matinee and then when she agreed that
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they were witnessing unparalleled cinematic greatness, they hung around in
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the lobby for an hour and then stayed for the
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dinner showing. Of course, without even thinking, he brought his
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mother Lily once on a Sunday and then dragged her
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across town to the theater of Indie Darlings so they could
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catch the midnight screening. The following day, Gregory ran up
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his elderly neighbor Glorieta. She had never heard of Wes Anderson.
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Out of all of his dates, it was Glorieta who
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loved it the most. He would have taken Glorieta for
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a second time, but the movie's run ended before he
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could gets his next bookstore paycheck.
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The following year, his on screen.
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Hotel devotion took a much more how do we say
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this downscale turn, schitz Creek debuted and well inevitably became
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Gregory's entire personality. Unlike so many of the viewers who
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were rooting for Stevie, Alexis or David, Gregory was compelled,
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as a die hard schitz Creek fan to root for
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the Rosebud Motel itself. So when the guidance counselor had
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him fill out a nine page survey his senior year,
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Gregory didn't feel the need to answer dozens of questions
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about his interests and skill sets. He knew that he
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wanted to run a hotel. He handed the blank questionnaire back.
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So Missus McNally looked at him over her horn, rim
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glasses and a sparkle in her eye. She'd worked at
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the school her entire adult life and had a soft
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spot for decisive students. I'll fill out hospitality, Gregory shook
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his head. That's too general. I want to run a hotel, obviously,
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I won't start with the Fountain Blue. I need a
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resume before I just show up in Miami, take over
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the place and restore it back to its original nineteen
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sixties heyday. But this is what I am meant to do.
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Gregory imagined himself as the sort of hotel manager like
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the actor Hector Alonzo did and pretty woman for Julia Roberts.
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He had big plans, big huge Anyway, I have to
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be shopping now. Missus McNally's fingers whizzed across the keyboard.
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Do you have a backup?
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She knew the question was silly, but she was so
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enjoying her time with Gregory that she.
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Didn't want him to leave.
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He answered in the form of a raised left eyebrow.
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You had to hand it to the kid. He had
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some moves. The smile that spread across Missus McNally's mouth
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was contagious. Look, I don't always make personal connections for students,
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but I do know the manager of the Hyatt. Maybe
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you could start working this year, and then I want
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to encourage you to apply to the big schools. The
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worst thing that they can do is say no, and
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I can only imagine how your personal essay will read.
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Wait the Hyat, Gregory felt his stomach flip flop.
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He didn't know why.
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He'd never considered working in a hotel while he still
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lived at home, and it just seemed like a real
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professional job for real professional adults. Although he had just
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turned seventeen, he was still a scrawny kid who usually
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got away with buying a youth ticket at the movie theater.
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He didn't have a strand of facial hair to his name,
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and his voice still occasionally squeaked when he got nervous,
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like now, wait. His generation said that a lot. Maybe
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the world really was moving too fast. Do you really
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think that they would hire me? How it was missus
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McNally's turn to silently raise an eyebrow. Apply to the
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big schools, Cornell n YU Hospitality Management. You need the
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degree and you will learn so much. You get on
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those applications, and I'll see about getting you a job.
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The cloud that carried Gregory out of missus McNally's office
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pushed him down the hallway, out the door, and to
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Starbucks to get himself a little treat. He didn't know
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what he was celebrating, but he knew that it was
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going to be good. When Gregory saw the email from
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Hernandez George at High at forty four, dot com. He
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nearly jumped out of his skin. He and his mother
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were zoned out for their nightly fix of reality TV
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on the old sofa when he clicked it open. His
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cry scared his mother, who was deeply invested in the
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cheating scandal involving people whom she'd never met. I have
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an interview, he sang.
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Lily jumped up.
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These entitled people in their extramarital affairs and obscene wardrobes
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would have.
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To wait in no time at all.
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She'd set up her iron, her lavender spray, and barked
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orders at her only child the white shirt. They always
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wear white at hotels. Gregory was still in shock and
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unable to think clearly. He took stock of the button
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down that his mother held out on a wire hanger.
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It really wasn't speaking his language. What about my pink
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pin stripe. It's much more sophisticated. It says I have style.
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You have style when you walk, Lily exclaimed, you don't
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need your shirt to be doing the talking for you.
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This was a tough statement to counter. One could argue
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that Gregory Mendoza had the most stylish walk in all
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of Somerville County, and so it went. Mother and son
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eventually settled on a gray check shirt with herringbone pants,
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which Lily expertly let out an inch at the hem
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you are growing. Her speech was garbled her mouth holding
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a pair of sewing scissors and a pen. Gregory didn't
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know why seamstresses always held their tools between their teeth.
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His grandmother and aunts did the same. Luckily, he knew
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how to understand this very specific speech impediment not fast enough.
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It was true he was a late bloomer. At least
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that's what Lily said. Gregory knew how to compensate for
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his lack of physical stature. There was never a more
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impressive class clown. We say that because he also managed
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to get the teachers to laugh. He'd been the star
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of the marching band all throughout high school, and his
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cookies were the first to sell out at the many
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many bake sales.
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But he didn't feel like he was growing.
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The truth was a lot of life felt pretty easy
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to our soon to be hotel manager. He needed a challenge,
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but he didn't know that yet. The day of the
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interview felt like it belonged to one of his favorite shows.
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The sun was shining the sky was blue, and the
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birds chirped overhead as if there were a feathered family
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reunion taking place in the cherry trees outside of the hyat.
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Lily drove right to the front door and insisted on
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waiting outside for her son. The immaculately dressed bellman opened
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the door, checking in, ma'am. Lily beamed as if she'd
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recently had headlights and planted into her forehead. Oh no,
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you see my son here. He's interviewing for a job.
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He wants to run a hotel one day.
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Mom.
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Gregory was used to chastising his mother and her more
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braggadocious tendencies, but on this particular day, he felt just
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as proud as she did, and his voice was anything
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but fierce. Lily turned to her handsome boy, Good luck,
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you are a star. They would be lucky to have you.
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I'll wait right here. Gregory escaped the motherly smothering and
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hopped out of the passenger door, waving behind him as
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he walked confidently into the lobby. Lily gripped the steering wheel.
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She couldn't tame the butterflies zipping around in her stomach.
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The bellman stuck his head in the window. Ma'am, you
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can't actually wait right here, this is a loading zone.
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Lily just smiled. She didn't get to where she was
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in life by following rules. She put the car in
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drive and pulled up four feet. Then I will wait here,
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She grinned playfully at the man in the chauffeur's cap.
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The smile had been part of her success. The man
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tipped the brim and went back to his post. This
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was how Gregory and Lily worked.
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They were a team.
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She'd instilled in him a limitless drive, compassion, a sense
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of humor, and an ability to finesse the rules. Gregory
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was an eager learner. Now. If Lily had thought that
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he'd grown while fixing his trousers, she thought he'd doubled
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in size.
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Walking out of the revolving.
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Door, his back was street, his head high, his smile confident,
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and although she kept this to herself, she swears she
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spotted a shadow of a mustache that hadn't been there
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forty five minutes earlier. He didn't even have to tell
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her that he'd gotten the job. Their hug lasted for
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an entire Gloria Estefon song on the FM radio, and
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then they went to lunch to celebrate just a little treat.
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Lily shrugged, her face bursting with joy. This was, of course,
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a fabulous turn in Gregory's life events, because life is life.
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The job at the Hyatt was not exactly the seamless
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answer to his dreams. Yes he was hired as a
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seventeen year old with no experience, but yes he had
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the weekend night shift. Going into work at ten pm
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was almost an otherworldly experience. When the rest of the
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city was packing it in for the nighter heading out
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to party, Gregory was walking through the revolving doors in
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his perfectly pressed pants and clocking in on the machine
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in the employee locker room. His excitement was tempered by
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his anxiety. He'd already shadowed the front desk agents for
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three entire shifts. He thought he knew all of the
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things that could go wrong. His overnight duties would include
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very late check ins, noise disturbances, and hopefully not sending
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up the handyman crew for any maintenance issues. A weekend
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shift could be faster famine as far as issues went,
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and he hoped for an easy night. The music pumped
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in through the speakers was a funny mix of spot
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and techno. Gregory spent the next two hours organizing the
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desk drawers, trimming down the flower stems on the many
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vases in the ledge, and lighting the scented candles he
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found on the back shelves. When the clock ticked to midnight,
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he secretly hoped that a guest would ding the metal
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bell and summon him, as if the universe was listening.
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It did.
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Suddenly, appearing in front of his post was the most
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quafft woman he'd ever seen in his life. Her platinum
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blonde hair was coiled into a perfect chinnon, and she
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could have been anywhere between the ages of like fifty
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and seventy five. Some parts of her were clearly much
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much younger. She reached out a manicured hand, dripping with
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enough blame to put a top forty rapper to shame.
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Missus Helena Richardson. Gregory couldn't find his voice. He didn't
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know much about spirit animals, but he knew in that
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moment that he would do absolutely anything for this woman. Gregory,