April 17, 2025
The Cat Burglar
When Lisette gets dumped by her boyfriend, she is sure that he has not only broken her heart but also stolen her cat. She calls upon her Facebook Dating Group to help her find proof. And, much to her surprise, she finds much more.
🌈 Lost your...
When Lisette gets dumped by her boyfriend, she is sure that he has not only broken her heart but also stolen her cat. She calls upon her Facebook Dating Group to help her find proof. And, much to her surprise, she finds much more.
🌈 Lost your EarPods? Procrastinating at your computer? Hate the sound of Jo's voice? Then you're in luck!
🍀 All episodes are available for your reading pleasure at www.anxietyaddictsbedtimestories.com
📚 Love the stories?
👄 Have one to tell?
When Hallie parties her face off in the ultimate preparation for a dream job interview, she manages to both humiliate herself and make the best choice of her life.
⏰ Only have three minutes? It's SO easy to submit your own! Just click on: www.anxietyaddictsbedtimestories.com/contact
✍️ How does it work?
👀 Is it annoying?
👮 Will the cops find me? You send three short sentences and we do the rest. It's less annoying than anything else in your inbox. And we change all names and identifying characteristics so the only thing knocking on your door after midnight is hopefully someone you invited.
🍆 Want funny pics? Links to the latest story? And videos of all the things stressing us the eff out? Lucky for you, our Insta is 🔥 Fire 🔥 So follow us here: @anxietyaddictsbedtimestories.
Need a 90-second life break to make you laugh and forget about the real world for an entire minute? Put your email in here for a good time: https://www.anxietyaddictsbedtimestories.com/Sweet dreams...xoxo
Jo & Morgan
🌈 Lost your EarPods? Procrastinating at your computer? Hate the sound of Jo's voice? Then you're in luck!
🍀 All episodes are available for your reading pleasure at www.anxietyaddictsbedtimestories.com
📚 Love the stories?
👄 Have one to tell?
When Hallie parties her face off in the ultimate preparation for a dream job interview, she manages to both humiliate herself and make the best choice of her life.
⏰ Only have three minutes? It's SO easy to submit your own! Just click on: www.anxietyaddictsbedtimestories.com/contact
✍️ How does it work?
👀 Is it annoying?
👮 Will the cops find me? You send three short sentences and we do the rest. It's less annoying than anything else in your inbox. And we change all names and identifying characteristics so the only thing knocking on your door after midnight is hopefully someone you invited.
🍆 Want funny pics? Links to the latest story? And videos of all the things stressing us the eff out? Lucky for you, our Insta is 🔥 Fire 🔥 So follow us here: @anxietyaddictsbedtimestories.
Need a 90-second life break to make you laugh and forget about the real world for an entire minute? Put your email in here for a good time: https://www.anxietyaddictsbedtimestories.com/Sweet dreams...xoxo
Jo & Morgan
WEBVTT
1
00:00:01.399 --> 00:00:05.919
To the restless, the insomniacs, the stressed out, the overwork
2
00:00:06.120 --> 00:00:10.400
the doom scrollers, the worried, and the board. This is
3
00:00:10.480 --> 00:00:13.720
for you. Good writing is meant to make you think.
4
00:00:14.400 --> 00:00:20.199
This is the opposite. Sure funny and unfortunately true stories
5
00:00:20.320 --> 00:00:23.039
that have mostly to do with nothing to help you
6
00:00:23.120 --> 00:00:27.079
turn off your brain and turn on your ram. All
7
00:00:27.199 --> 00:00:30.760
names have been changed to protect the guilty. These are
8
00:00:31.039 --> 00:00:33.679
anxiety addicts bedtime stories.
9
00:00:44.960 --> 00:00:48.719
Lisette was going through it like that. It was a
10
00:00:48.719 --> 00:00:51.000
breakup that was like a bomb in the mouth of
11
00:00:51.039 --> 00:00:53.560
a ground squirrel who dug a tunnel deep into her
12
00:00:53.560 --> 00:00:57.320
heart before letting it explode. Yeah, apologies, that is a
13
00:00:57.359 --> 00:01:01.000
disgusting visual for time. The squirrel left the heartbreak bomb
14
00:01:01.000 --> 00:01:03.240
and climbed out before the timer went off and blew
15
00:01:03.280 --> 00:01:06.439
the squirrel's guts everywhere. It was one of those soul
16
00:01:06.519 --> 00:01:10.599
crushing experiences that leaves you breaft of strength, the ability
17
00:01:10.640 --> 00:01:13.760
to keep tears of bay, the capability in believing you
18
00:01:13.799 --> 00:01:18.400
will ever get over it, and the heartbreak showed itself everywhere.
19
00:01:19.519 --> 00:01:22.040
It showed itself in her work. She could barely focus.
20
00:01:22.599 --> 00:01:25.719
As a data analyst for a construction equipment company, one
21
00:01:25.760 --> 00:01:28.840
would not exactly describe her days as chock full of excitement,
22
00:01:29.319 --> 00:01:32.519
but they did require concentration and attention to detail, both
23
00:01:32.560 --> 00:01:34.959
skills which had been zapped from her brain in the
24
00:01:34.959 --> 00:01:38.680
twenty four hours since Amos unceremoniously left her while she
25
00:01:38.760 --> 00:01:41.920
was working late on a Monday. She'd been working her
26
00:01:41.920 --> 00:01:45.079
tail off lately, only occasionally giving herself a brain break
27
00:01:45.120 --> 00:01:49.120
by logging onto her favorite Facebook group, the post it Note.
28
00:01:49.799 --> 00:01:52.799
The Pit Pit was started by a friend of a
29
00:01:52.840 --> 00:01:54.840
friend outside of the city and had grown to about
30
00:01:54.840 --> 00:01:57.840
one hundred members and consisted of all women in their
31
00:01:57.840 --> 00:02:00.799
twenties trying to tame the wild beasts of the Chicago
32
00:02:00.920 --> 00:02:04.599
dating scene. Lisette had been a member before she met Amos.
33
00:02:05.040 --> 00:02:08.000
She loved the sass, the camaraderie, and the others in
34
00:02:08.080 --> 00:02:12.319
similar relationship situations. She'd asked advice from the group a
35
00:02:12.319 --> 00:02:16.360
handful of times about her current romantic life. Amos had
36
00:02:16.360 --> 00:02:18.800
been living with her for six months. He made her
37
00:02:18.840 --> 00:02:22.560
feel smart, I loved, and beautiful about seventy five percent
38
00:02:22.599 --> 00:02:25.120
of the time. When he was good. He was so
39
00:02:25.319 --> 00:02:28.759
good he'd make dinner and bring home flowers and dote
40
00:02:28.800 --> 00:02:31.360
on her in front of her friends. But when he
41
00:02:31.439 --> 00:02:34.280
was tired or hungry, or someone had cut in front
42
00:02:34.280 --> 00:02:37.360
of him at Dark Matter Coffee, the guy would explode
43
00:02:37.400 --> 00:02:39.840
like a can of soda in the freezer, and for
44
00:02:39.960 --> 00:02:43.360
the life of her, Lisette couldn't decide which one of
45
00:02:43.360 --> 00:02:46.800
the Amoses she lived with was the real Amos. Even
46
00:02:46.840 --> 00:02:49.639
with all of her expertise, this was a challenging set
47
00:02:49.680 --> 00:02:53.199
of data for her to analyze. While sitting in front
48
00:02:53.199 --> 00:02:55.800
of her double monitor at eight o'clock that night and
49
00:02:55.879 --> 00:02:59.879
missing a new Judge Judy episode, Lisette had explicitly won
50
00:03:00.319 --> 00:03:03.599
out loud because the office was empty. What could be
51
00:03:03.639 --> 00:03:06.360
worse than having to work this late on a Monday?
52
00:03:07.400 --> 00:03:09.599
She would learn an hour and a half later after
53
00:03:09.639 --> 00:03:14.280
getting home, the answer was getting dumped your boyfriend, moving
54
00:03:14.319 --> 00:03:16.280
out all of his stuff and leaving you with a
55
00:03:16.319 --> 00:03:21.879
handwritten letter that explained absolutely nothing. As Lisa sat on
56
00:03:21.960 --> 00:03:24.800
the gray paneled faux wood floor of her kitchen, where
57
00:03:24.800 --> 00:03:27.800
she had melted into a puddle of devastation after picking
58
00:03:27.879 --> 00:03:30.759
up the yellow leugal pad with Amos's state of their union,
59
00:03:31.080 --> 00:03:35.840
she cried out loud yet again, what could be worse
60
00:03:36.039 --> 00:03:38.879
than getting dumped on a Monday while you're working late?
61
00:03:39.879 --> 00:03:42.680
And this is when she learned two facts of life. One,
62
00:03:43.000 --> 00:03:46.879
don't ever say that sentence out loud. There's no good answer. Two.
63
00:03:47.360 --> 00:03:49.919
This is when she noticed that she hadn't seen Manners,
64
00:03:50.120 --> 00:03:52.840
her fluffy orange rescue cat, since she got home and
65
00:03:52.879 --> 00:03:58.039
became intimately acquainted with her kitchen flooring manners. She screamed
66
00:03:58.080 --> 00:04:01.039
like an old Victorian society ly whose child picked up
67
00:04:01.080 --> 00:04:04.240
the wrong fork. The apartment was silent for less than
68
00:04:04.240 --> 00:04:07.319
a second. The round white speaker that Amos had forgotten
69
00:04:07.360 --> 00:04:10.919
to steal spoke back almost immediately. I'm sorry I didn't
70
00:04:10.960 --> 00:04:14.400
quite catch that. Did you mean table etiquette? Fuck you?
71
00:04:14.520 --> 00:04:17.639
Alexa list ripped the device out of the wall and
72
00:04:17.639 --> 00:04:20.079
threw it in the recycling bin, with no confidence that
73
00:04:20.079 --> 00:04:23.120
that's where it belonged. She'd always hated that thing. It
74
00:04:23.199 --> 00:04:25.600
wasn't just that she was minorly paranoid and didn't want
75
00:04:25.600 --> 00:04:29.079
Amazon listening. It was the quiet, but nagging feeling that
76
00:04:29.160 --> 00:04:33.040
Amos wanted somebody else around that Lisette wasn't quite enough
77
00:04:33.120 --> 00:04:36.240
for him. It wasn't like she was jealous of Alexa.
78
00:04:36.360 --> 00:04:38.920
That would be insane, but that's how Amos could make
79
00:04:38.959 --> 00:04:42.199
her feel twenty five percent of the time like a nutball,
80
00:04:42.399 --> 00:04:47.519
envious of a well programmed plastic speaker Manners Manners, she
81
00:04:47.639 --> 00:04:50.639
cried now that the futuristic gadget was no longer spying
82
00:04:50.680 --> 00:04:54.160
on her. This time she was met with silence, not
83
00:04:54.319 --> 00:04:56.759
a yew or a purr or a hairball to step in.
84
00:04:58.000 --> 00:05:00.920
After an entire hour of searching a six hundred square
85
00:05:00.920 --> 00:05:04.360
foot apartment, Lisett was hit with the reality of her reality.
86
00:05:04.959 --> 00:05:07.560
Not only had she been forced to work late fixing
87
00:05:07.560 --> 00:05:10.639
her coworker's mistake, but she had been dumped by the
88
00:05:10.680 --> 00:05:16.439
best looking guy she'd ever dated, and she'd fucking stolen
89
00:05:16.439 --> 00:05:20.399
her cat. And Manners, of course, wasn't just a cat.
90
00:05:21.000 --> 00:05:24.720
He was her evening footwarmer, her fellow Real Housewives fan,
91
00:05:25.040 --> 00:05:28.720
her secret keeper, her fluffy friend, her goofy Gooferson. He
92
00:05:28.720 --> 00:05:32.959
had a lot of nicknames. The heartbreak was momentarily replaced
93
00:05:33.120 --> 00:05:39.439
with defiant indignation that was not Amos's cat. There was
94
00:05:39.519 --> 00:05:42.399
no question about whom Manners really belonged to. If the
95
00:05:42.439 --> 00:05:44.639
two of them went in front of Judge Judy, Amos
96
00:05:44.639 --> 00:05:47.839
wouldn't have a case, not even close. Lisette was the
97
00:05:47.839 --> 00:05:50.160
one who wanted a cat in the first place, who
98
00:05:50.199 --> 00:05:53.519
would follow the local adoption center on Instagram had seen
99
00:05:53.560 --> 00:05:56.720
the Little Orange litter, contacted the office, arranged a meeting,
100
00:05:56.879 --> 00:05:58.920
and even allowed one of their volunteers to come in
101
00:05:58.959 --> 00:06:03.600
and evaluate her hertment. Lisette had filled out the lengthy paperwork,
102
00:06:03.639 --> 00:06:06.439
paid the adoption fee, and purchased all of the matching
103
00:06:06.519 --> 00:06:10.839
feline necessitated accessories at home goods, including an intricate cat
104
00:06:10.920 --> 00:06:14.600
jungle gym. Fine Amos had put together the jungle gym,
105
00:06:14.839 --> 00:06:16.839
but he'd had four beers and lost one of the
106
00:06:16.839 --> 00:06:20.319
pages of directions during the assembly process. This meant that
107
00:06:20.360 --> 00:06:23.160
every time poor Manners climbed up to the top rung
108
00:06:23.279 --> 00:06:26.160
of the kiddy play structure, his weight caused the platform
109
00:06:26.240 --> 00:06:29.399
to flop to one side. He never remembered and fell
110
00:06:29.439 --> 00:06:32.480
on his cat ass multiple times a day, disproving the
111
00:06:32.480 --> 00:06:35.519
theory that his kind always landed on their feet. Judy
112
00:06:35.560 --> 00:06:38.519
would have had a field day with that one. Lisette's
113
00:06:38.560 --> 00:06:41.759
sobs were momentarily paused while she considered taking Amos to
114
00:06:41.759 --> 00:06:45.360
the Court TV show, but she knew she couldn't. She
115
00:06:45.519 --> 00:06:49.959
was missing something, and not just Manners. She was missing proof.
116
00:06:50.360 --> 00:06:52.480
She had been watching Judge Judy since her mom went
117
00:06:52.519 --> 00:06:55.160
back to work full time. And her elderly neighbor, missus
118
00:06:55.160 --> 00:06:59.360
Hoppin babysatter after school. She knew the drill. She felt
119
00:06:59.399 --> 00:07:02.240
like she knew that law. In fact, she briefly considered
120
00:07:02.319 --> 00:07:04.759
law school solely based on her love for the daytime
121
00:07:04.839 --> 00:07:08.279
sharp tongue judge, but quickly realized that her conflict avoidant
122
00:07:08.319 --> 00:07:11.439
personality probably wouldn't be the best fit for that line
123
00:07:11.439 --> 00:07:15.759
of work. Still, she was angry. She called Amos. It
124
00:07:15.839 --> 00:07:20.439
went to voicemail. After three rings, she texted, how could
125
00:07:20.439 --> 00:07:23.240
you do this to me? There was no answer. A
126
00:07:23.360 --> 00:07:26.319
thought ripped through her stomach, as if she were being stabbed.
127
00:07:26.959 --> 00:07:30.680
Who isn't There has to be someone else. His letter
128
00:07:30.839 --> 00:07:35.360
of romantic resignation was a single paragraph. He'd written that
129
00:07:35.480 --> 00:07:38.639
he felt like he was holding me set back, he
130
00:07:38.720 --> 00:07:43.199
wanted more for her, and then there was the last line,
131
00:07:44.279 --> 00:07:49.839
I'm just not ready for someone who's ready. Fuck. It
132
00:07:49.920 --> 00:07:53.600
was clear, even to heartbrokenly set that this was a
133
00:07:53.600 --> 00:07:57.439
steaming pile of Horseshit curled up on her ikea couch,
134
00:07:57.720 --> 00:08:00.959
Lisett pulled Amos's Blackhawk's hoodie out of the laundry hamper
135
00:08:01.199 --> 00:08:04.680
because she was angry but also confused. Her rejected lonely,
136
00:08:04.759 --> 00:08:08.000
not to mention, hungry, thirsty, bloated, itchy, and feeling abandoned.
137
00:08:08.360 --> 00:08:11.319
While she streamed an old Judged Judy episode that she'd
138
00:08:11.319 --> 00:08:15.120
seen maybe seven times, she mindlessly opened the Facebook app
139
00:08:15.120 --> 00:08:18.560
on her phone, and there it was a safe place
140
00:08:18.680 --> 00:08:22.480
to let it rip. Pouring her heart out to kind
141
00:08:22.519 --> 00:08:25.920
of strangers on the Internet felt wildly cathartic, and putting
142
00:08:25.959 --> 00:08:29.279
Amos's personality in writing Wow. It didn't take long for
143
00:08:29.399 --> 00:08:31.519
Lisette to stop thinking of him as the one who
144
00:08:31.600 --> 00:08:34.919
dumped her, but as the bullet she had very recently dodged.
145
00:08:35.600 --> 00:08:38.879
He was a sloppy, small minded jerk. He lived his
146
00:08:38.919 --> 00:08:41.480
life as if li Set were a goldfish who occasionally
147
00:08:41.519 --> 00:08:45.039
needed minimal care and some weekly sustenance. He'd often made
148
00:08:45.080 --> 00:08:47.399
her feel like she was in his way when it
149
00:08:47.480 --> 00:08:51.320
was legally her apartment. He wondered out loud why she
150
00:08:51.360 --> 00:08:53.639
didn't have those long, sexy nails like the girls he
151
00:08:53.679 --> 00:08:55.600
saw at the gym where he was a personal trainer,
152
00:08:55.879 --> 00:08:57.600
and could not wrap his head around the fact that
153
00:08:57.639 --> 00:09:00.120
a person cannot spend eight hours a day type on
154
00:09:00.200 --> 00:09:03.159
a keyboard and also maintain a three inch appendage to
155
00:09:03.200 --> 00:09:07.200
each fingertip. The more leaset type, the more her anger
156
00:09:07.279 --> 00:09:10.440
exploded through her thumbs and onto the fresh screen space.
157
00:09:11.200 --> 00:09:14.200
Right when you're angry, but never send until you're calm,
158
00:09:14.320 --> 00:09:17.039
her father had often told her. But Lisett was not
159
00:09:17.080 --> 00:09:19.720
in the headspace to heed any kind of advice, and
160
00:09:19.960 --> 00:09:22.759
just to double down before she posted her rant, she
161
00:09:22.879 --> 00:09:25.320
uploaded a photo of Amos, just in case there was
162
00:09:25.360 --> 00:09:28.240
anyone in the chat presently lying next to the not
163
00:09:28.519 --> 00:09:32.519
ready for someone who was ready X. Immediately in her
164
00:09:32.559 --> 00:09:36.279
post exorcism state, a wave of exhaustion crashed over her.
165
00:09:36.840 --> 00:09:40.799
It was eleven PM that night, Like a drunk girl
166
00:09:40.879 --> 00:09:43.720
home from a club. At four am, Lisette fell asleep
167
00:09:43.759 --> 00:09:46.879
without washing off her makeup, brushing her teeth, or charging
168
00:09:46.879 --> 00:09:50.840
her phone. But poor Lisett was hideously sober, and to
169
00:09:50.879 --> 00:09:53.919
add insult to injury, she overslept the next morning, not
170
00:09:54.039 --> 00:09:57.279
hearing her alarm. She rushed to work, of course, in
171
00:09:57.320 --> 00:09:59.799
the pouring rain without a rubber boots, and found herself
172
00:10:00.120 --> 00:10:03.200
so inundated with emails and revisions to her documents that
173
00:10:03.279 --> 00:10:06.000
she didn't get to check or recharge her phone until
174
00:10:06.000 --> 00:10:09.480
almost five o'clock that afternoon, and that's when she saw
175
00:10:09.519 --> 00:10:14.960
a post from someone named Vanessa. Vanessa was a regular
176
00:10:15.000 --> 00:10:17.960
contributor to the Facebook group. She was twenty eight, so
177
00:10:17.960 --> 00:10:21.039
a bit older than Lisa, and arguably quite a bit
178
00:10:21.039 --> 00:10:24.159
more street smart. She'd been sort of around the block
179
00:10:24.240 --> 00:10:27.240
and was one of the few group members wholly uninterested
180
00:10:27.360 --> 00:10:30.799
in a long term relationship. She was completing her medical
181
00:10:30.840 --> 00:10:35.679
residency by, according to her profile, always going beyond what
182
00:10:35.840 --> 00:10:38.720
is asked of me, and thought men were more of
183
00:10:38.759 --> 00:10:42.519
a liability than anything else. However, she did like some
184
00:10:42.639 --> 00:10:46.360
company a few times a month and always posted detailed
185
00:10:46.399 --> 00:10:50.440
reviews of her conquests. So maybe it should not have
186
00:10:50.519 --> 00:10:54.879
been a surprise to Lisa that Vanessa knew Amos. But
187
00:10:55.000 --> 00:11:00.519
she was so emotionally drained that moly was girl, wrote Vanessa,
188
00:11:00.639 --> 00:11:04.639
under the dozens of other comments about Amos's unceremonious dumping,
189
00:11:05.440 --> 00:11:08.799
I know him. I'll hit him up, get myself invited
190
00:11:08.840 --> 00:11:11.360
over and see if he has a cat. The post
191
00:11:11.399 --> 00:11:13.919
got eighty eight likes, which at that point in time
192
00:11:14.320 --> 00:11:17.960
was the gross majority of the group's members list shook
193
00:11:17.960 --> 00:11:21.919
her head. Along with manners, Amos had also stolen all
194
00:11:21.960 --> 00:11:26.480
of Lisette's hope. She was exhausted, irritable, and not thinking straight.
195
00:11:27.120 --> 00:11:29.120
If she had been, she would have taken a closer
196
00:11:29.159 --> 00:11:32.720
look at Vanessa's profile. Pick then she would have realized
197
00:11:32.720 --> 00:11:35.000
that there were very few straight men in their twenties
198
00:11:35.000 --> 00:11:38.519
in the city of Chicago that would have turned down Vanessa.
199
00:11:38.639 --> 00:11:41.200
So when the week finally dragged itself to the end,
200
00:11:41.440 --> 00:11:44.960
Lisette wasn't surprised that she hadn't gotten any news. She
201
00:11:45.039 --> 00:11:47.759
worked late every night. There were endless problems with the
202
00:11:47.840 --> 00:11:51.720
latest analysis of the construction. Company was undergoing some major changes,
203
00:11:51.960 --> 00:11:54.679
and it seemed like management was being impossible at respecting
204
00:11:54.679 --> 00:11:57.919
her numbers. On top of the work stress, there was
205
00:11:58.320 --> 00:12:01.519
nothing waiting for her at home, no food in the fridge,
206
00:12:01.679 --> 00:12:04.879
no boyfriend in bed, and most painfully of all, no
207
00:12:05.000 --> 00:12:07.399
fuzzy orange cat waiting to greet her at the door.
208
00:12:07.960 --> 00:12:11.919
It was almost too much for Lisett to bear. That Friday,
209
00:12:12.200 --> 00:12:15.600
she ignored the group text hashing out weekend plans. The
210
00:12:15.639 --> 00:12:18.799
idea of going out and being social was wholly unappealing.
211
00:12:19.320 --> 00:12:21.440
She put her phone on silent, determined to get her
212
00:12:21.440 --> 00:12:23.840
work done so she could commit to rotting on her
213
00:12:23.879 --> 00:12:27.399
couch all weekend. It wasn't until she finally got home
214
00:12:27.440 --> 00:12:30.080
at seven pm, when the sky was pitched black, the
215
00:12:30.120 --> 00:12:33.000
city buzzing with people looking having or about to have
216
00:12:33.080 --> 00:12:36.440
a good time when she pulled out the Black Hawk's hoodie. Yes,
217
00:12:36.559 --> 00:12:38.759
she knows, she knows, she knows. She couldn't help herself,
218
00:12:39.320 --> 00:12:41.840
plopped in front of the TV and opened up Facebook.
219
00:12:42.360 --> 00:12:45.519
There was nothing. She turned on her DVR and watched
220
00:12:45.559 --> 00:12:49.399
four hours of Judge Judy reruns, falling asleep on the
221
00:12:49.440 --> 00:12:53.440
stiffly made sofa, but she never turned her notifications back on.
222
00:12:54.279 --> 00:12:56.840
If she had, she would have woken up before eleven
223
00:12:56.879 --> 00:13:00.679
am the next day, because when the set did pry
224
00:13:00.759 --> 00:13:04.200
herself up off the couch late that Saturday morning, it
225
00:13:04.279 --> 00:13:06.759
took her quite a bit of time to make herself
226
00:13:06.759 --> 00:13:10.799
a coffee and oatmeal and then actually check her phone.
227
00:13:12.120 --> 00:13:14.720
Maybe it was good that her device had been on silence.
228
00:13:15.440 --> 00:13:21.519
There were six hundred and fifty two notifications. Oh my god, what,
229
00:13:21.799 --> 00:13:25.399
Lisa shrieked to absolutely no one, not even Alexa, who
230
00:13:25.480 --> 00:13:28.279
was still sitting in the recycling bin in the twelve
231
00:13:28.360 --> 00:13:31.559
hours that our heroin had been asleep. Here's what happened.
232
00:13:32.519 --> 00:13:36.000
Vanessa did, in fact meet up with Amos for drinks.
233
00:13:36.440 --> 00:13:39.600
She got herself invited back to his apartment took a
234
00:13:39.679 --> 00:13:42.840
minor detour by having sex with him for an hour. Remember,
235
00:13:42.960 --> 00:13:45.840
if you can ignore all the red flags, Amos was
236
00:13:45.879 --> 00:13:48.919
a very very good looking douw and while he was
237
00:13:49.039 --> 00:13:51.919
deeply asleep after the romp in the hay, Vanessa had
238
00:13:51.960 --> 00:13:57.919
trolled around his apartment and found the cat manners. Lisa
239
00:13:58.080 --> 00:14:01.720
cried out loud, surprising even herself. Vanessa had taken a
240
00:14:01.759 --> 00:14:04.799
picture of the kitty crouched on top of Amos's refrigerator.
241
00:14:05.279 --> 00:14:10.840
This was proof. This was Judge Judy certifiable proof. Amos
242
00:14:10.879 --> 00:14:14.879
had stolen her cat. Lisette's heart swelled before it dropped
1
00:00:01.399 --> 00:00:05.919
2
00:00:06.120 --> 00:00:10.400
3
00:00:10.480 --> 00:00:13.720
4
00:00:14.400 --> 00:00:20.199
5
00:00:20.320 --> 00:00:23.039
6
00:00:23.120 --> 00:00:27.079
7
00:00:27.199 --> 00:00:30.760
8
00:00:31.039 --> 00:00:33.679
9
00:00:44.960 --> 00:00:48.719
10
00:00:48.719 --> 00:00:51.000
11
00:00:51.039 --> 00:00:53.560
12
00:00:53.560 --> 00:00:57.320
13
00:00:57.359 --> 00:01:01.000
14
00:01:01.000 --> 00:01:03.240
15
00:01:03.280 --> 00:01:06.439
16
00:01:06.519 --> 00:01:10.599
17
00:01:10.640 --> 00:01:13.760
18
00:01:13.799 --> 00:01:18.400
19
00:01:19.519 --> 00:01:22.040
20
00:01:22.599 --> 00:01:25.719
21
00:01:25.760 --> 00:01:28.840
22
00:01:29.319 --> 00:01:32.519
23
00:01:32.560 --> 00:01:34.959
24
00:01:34.959 --> 00:01:38.680
25
00:01:38.760 --> 00:01:41.920
26
00:01:41.920 --> 00:01:45.079
27
00:01:45.120 --> 00:01:49.120
28
00:01:49.799 --> 00:01:52.799
29
00:01:52.840 --> 00:01:54.840
30
00:01:54.840 --> 00:01:57.840
31
00:01:57.840 --> 00:02:00.799
32
00:02:00.920 --> 00:02:04.599
33
00:02:05.040 --> 00:02:08.000
34
00:02:08.080 --> 00:02:12.319
35
00:02:12.319 --> 00:02:16.360
36
00:02:16.360 --> 00:02:18.800
37
00:02:18.840 --> 00:02:22.560
38
00:02:22.599 --> 00:02:25.120
39
00:02:25.319 --> 00:02:28.759
40
00:02:28.800 --> 00:02:31.360
41
00:02:31.439 --> 00:02:34.280
42
00:02:34.280 --> 00:02:37.360
43
00:02:37.400 --> 00:02:39.840
44
00:02:39.960 --> 00:02:43.360
45
00:02:43.360 --> 00:02:46.800
46
00:02:46.840 --> 00:02:49.639
47
00:02:49.680 --> 00:02:53.199
48
00:02:53.199 --> 00:02:55.800
49
00:02:55.879 --> 00:02:59.879
50
00:03:00.319 --> 00:03:03.599
51
00:03:03.639 --> 00:03:06.360
52
00:03:07.400 --> 00:03:09.599
53
00:03:09.639 --> 00:03:14.280
54
00:03:14.319 --> 00:03:16.280
55
00:03:16.319 --> 00:03:21.879
56
00:03:21.960 --> 00:03:24.800
57
00:03:24.800 --> 00:03:27.800
58
00:03:27.879 --> 00:03:30.759
59
00:03:31.080 --> 00:03:35.840
60
00:03:36.039 --> 00:03:38.879
61
00:03:39.879 --> 00:03:42.680
62
00:03:43.000 --> 00:03:46.879
63
00:03:47.360 --> 00:03:49.919
64
00:03:50.120 --> 00:03:52.840
65
00:03:52.879 --> 00:03:58.039
66
00:03:58.080 --> 00:04:01.039
67
00:04:01.080 --> 00:04:04.240
68
00:04:04.240 --> 00:04:07.319
69
00:04:07.360 --> 00:04:10.919
70
00:04:10.960 --> 00:04:14.400
71
00:04:14.520 --> 00:04:17.639
72
00:04:17.639 --> 00:04:20.079
73
00:04:20.079 --> 00:04:23.120
74
00:04:23.199 --> 00:04:25.600
75
00:04:25.600 --> 00:04:29.079
76
00:04:29.160 --> 00:04:33.040
77
00:04:33.120 --> 00:04:36.240
78
00:04:36.360 --> 00:04:38.920
79
00:04:38.959 --> 00:04:42.199
80
00:04:42.399 --> 00:04:47.519
81
00:04:47.639 --> 00:04:50.639
82
00:04:50.680 --> 00:04:54.160
83
00:04:54.319 --> 00:04:56.759
84
00:04:58.000 --> 00:05:00.920
85
00:05:00.920 --> 00:05:04.360
86
00:05:04.959 --> 00:05:07.560
87
00:05:07.560 --> 00:05:10.639
88
00:05:10.680 --> 00:05:16.439
89
00:05:16.439 --> 00:05:20.399
90
00:05:21.000 --> 00:05:24.720
91
00:05:25.040 --> 00:05:28.720
92
00:05:28.720 --> 00:05:32.959
93
00:05:33.120 --> 00:05:39.439
94
00:05:39.519 --> 00:05:42.399
95
00:05:42.439 --> 00:05:44.639
96
00:05:44.639 --> 00:05:47.839
97
00:05:47.839 --> 00:05:50.160
98
00:05:50.199 --> 00:05:53.519
99
00:05:53.560 --> 00:05:56.720
100
00:05:56.879 --> 00:05:58.920
101
00:05:58.959 --> 00:06:03.600
102
00:06:03.639 --> 00:06:06.439
103
00:06:06.519 --> 00:06:10.839
104
00:06:10.920 --> 00:06:14.600
105
00:06:14.839 --> 00:06:16.839
106
00:06:16.839 --> 00:06:20.319
107
00:06:20.360 --> 00:06:23.160
108
00:06:23.279 --> 00:06:26.160
109
00:06:26.240 --> 00:06:29.399
110
00:06:29.439 --> 00:06:32.480
111
00:06:32.480 --> 00:06:35.519
112
00:06:35.560 --> 00:06:38.519
113
00:06:38.560 --> 00:06:41.759
114
00:06:41.759 --> 00:06:45.360
115
00:06:45.519 --> 00:06:49.959
116
00:06:50.360 --> 00:06:52.480
117
00:06:52.519 --> 00:06:55.160
118
00:06:55.160 --> 00:06:59.360
119
00:06:59.399 --> 00:07:02.240
120
00:07:02.319 --> 00:07:04.759
121
00:07:04.839 --> 00:07:08.279
122
00:07:08.319 --> 00:07:11.439
123
00:07:11.439 --> 00:07:15.759
124
00:07:15.839 --> 00:07:20.439
125
00:07:20.439 --> 00:07:23.240
126
00:07:23.360 --> 00:07:26.319
127
00:07:26.959 --> 00:07:30.680
128
00:07:30.839 --> 00:07:35.360
129
00:07:35.480 --> 00:07:38.639
130
00:07:38.720 --> 00:07:43.199
131
00:07:44.279 --> 00:07:49.839
132
00:07:49.920 --> 00:07:53.600
133
00:07:53.600 --> 00:07:57.439
134
00:07:57.720 --> 00:08:00.959
135
00:08:01.199 --> 00:08:04.680
136
00:08:04.759 --> 00:08:08.000
137
00:08:08.360 --> 00:08:11.319
138
00:08:11.319 --> 00:08:15.120
139
00:08:15.120 --> 00:08:18.560
140
00:08:18.680 --> 00:08:22.480
141
00:08:22.519 --> 00:08:25.920
142
00:08:25.959 --> 00:08:29.279
143
00:08:29.399 --> 00:08:31.519
144
00:08:31.600 --> 00:08:34.919
145
00:08:35.600 --> 00:08:38.879
146
00:08:38.919 --> 00:08:41.480
147
00:08:41.519 --> 00:08:45.039
148
00:08:45.080 --> 00:08:47.399
149
00:08:47.480 --> 00:08:51.320
150
00:08:51.360 --> 00:08:53.639
151
00:08:53.679 --> 00:08:55.600
152
00:08:55.879 --> 00:08:57.600
153
00:08:57.639 --> 00:09:00.120
154
00:09:00.200 --> 00:09:03.159
155
00:09:03.200 --> 00:09:07.200
156
00:09:07.279 --> 00:09:10.440
157
00:09:11.200 --> 00:09:14.200
158
00:09:14.320 --> 00:09:17.039
159
00:09:17.080 --> 00:09:19.720
160
00:09:19.960 --> 00:09:22.759
161
00:09:22.879 --> 00:09:25.320
162
00:09:25.360 --> 00:09:28.240
163
00:09:28.519 --> 00:09:32.519
164
00:09:32.559 --> 00:09:36.279
165
00:09:36.840 --> 00:09:40.799
166
00:09:40.879 --> 00:09:43.720
167
00:09:43.759 --> 00:09:46.879
168
00:09:46.879 --> 00:09:50.840
169
00:09:50.879 --> 00:09:53.919
170
00:09:54.039 --> 00:09:57.279
171
00:09:57.320 --> 00:09:59.799
172
00:10:00.120 --> 00:10:03.200
173
00:10:03.279 --> 00:10:06.000
174
00:10:06.000 --> 00:10:09.480
175
00:10:09.519 --> 00:10:14.960
176
00:10:15.000 --> 00:10:17.960
177
00:10:17.960 --> 00:10:21.039
178
00:10:21.039 --> 00:10:24.159
179
00:10:24.240 --> 00:10:27.240
180
00:10:27.360 --> 00:10:30.799
181
00:10:30.840 --> 00:10:35.679
182
00:10:35.840 --> 00:10:38.720
183
00:10:38.759 --> 00:10:42.519
184
00:10:42.639 --> 00:10:46.360
185
00:10:46.399 --> 00:10:50.440
186
00:10:50.519 --> 00:10:54.879
187
00:10:55.000 --> 00:11:00.519
188
00:11:00.639 --> 00:11:04.639
189
00:11:05.440 --> 00:11:08.799
190
00:11:08.840 --> 00:11:11.360
191
00:11:11.399 --> 00:11:13.919
192
00:11:14.320 --> 00:11:17.960
193
00:11:17.960 --> 00:11:21.919
194
00:11:21.960 --> 00:11:26.480
195
00:11:27.120 --> 00:11:29.120
196
00:11:29.159 --> 00:11:32.720
197
00:11:32.720 --> 00:11:35.000
198
00:11:35.000 --> 00:11:38.519
199
00:11:38.639 --> 00:11:41.200
200
00:11:41.440 --> 00:11:44.960
201
00:11:45.039 --> 00:11:47.759
202
00:11:47.840 --> 00:11:51.720
203
00:11:51.960 --> 00:11:54.679
204
00:11:54.679 --> 00:11:57.919
205
00:11:58.320 --> 00:12:01.519
206
00:12:01.679 --> 00:12:04.879
207
00:12:05.000 --> 00:12:07.399
208
00:12:07.960 --> 00:12:11.919
209
00:12:12.200 --> 00:12:15.600
210
00:12:15.639 --> 00:12:18.799
211
00:12:19.320 --> 00:12:21.440
212
00:12:21.440 --> 00:12:23.840
213
00:12:23.879 --> 00:12:27.399
214
00:12:27.440 --> 00:12:30.080
215
00:12:30.120 --> 00:12:33.000
216
00:12:33.080 --> 00:12:36.440
217
00:12:36.559 --> 00:12:38.759
218
00:12:39.320 --> 00:12:41.840
219
00:12:42.360 --> 00:12:45.519
220
00:12:45.559 --> 00:12:49.399
221
00:12:49.440 --> 00:12:53.440
222
00:12:54.279 --> 00:12:56.840
223
00:12:56.879 --> 00:13:00.679
224
00:13:00.759 --> 00:13:04.200
225
00:13:04.279 --> 00:13:06.759
226
00:13:06.759 --> 00:13:10.799
227
00:13:12.120 --> 00:13:14.720
228
00:13:15.440 --> 00:13:21.519
229
00:13:21.799 --> 00:13:25.399
230
00:13:25.480 --> 00:13:28.279
231
00:13:28.360 --> 00:13:31.559
232
00:13:32.519 --> 00:13:36.000
233
00:13:36.440 --> 00:13:39.600
234
00:13:39.679 --> 00:13:42.840
235
00:13:42.960 --> 00:13:45.840
236
00:13:45.879 --> 00:13:48.919
237
00:13:49.039 --> 00:13:51.919
238
00:13:51.960 --> 00:13:57.919
239
00:13:58.080 --> 00:14:01.720
240
00:14:01.759 --> 00:14:04.799
241
00:14:05.279 --> 00:14:10.840
242
00:14:10.879 --> 00:14:14.879